| CANNNNONNN BALLLLLLLL! |
[29 Jun 2006|05:48pm] |
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mood |
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so today was the last day of work til the 17th. i dunno how i'm gonna live off of this weeks paycheck for that long but vacay is all inclusive so i'm not too worried. I have all these people i wanna see and hang out with while i'm off but it seems like it's gonna be close to impossible. i've been wanting to visit stace forever, which is possible but gas money is not. we'll see. D's been trying to see me all summer now and we're finally gonna go visit. my instructions were to bring hussies so that's just what i'm doing HA! me crones disease and court are gonna go and then jo's prob. gonna meet us cuz we dont feel like waiting for her.
SATURDAY is Kristy/Rachel Birthday Bash so if you're my friend. if you're her friend. be at her house anytime after like 530ish? presents are accepted as well :)
I'm getting more and more anxious for Punta Cana i think the beauty's just gonna overwhelm me to an even drunker state than i'll already be in. i have it planned already, i'll have my bathing suit on and ready for the plane ride, with shorts and sweats cuz it's always cold on the plane. then when we get to the resort i'm droppin my bags on my bed, stripping off my clothes, running to the pool and quoting the greatest movie of all time before i do a giant cannon ball, proceeding to swim to the pool bar and that's where i'll sit for the remainder of my birthday night. maybe i'll dance with a cabana boy, those plans are still up in the air, but up until the drink it's set in stone. i'm pretty sure i'll cry when we have to leave.
this past weeks weather fucked me all up and now i have to start my tan all over almost. if my base coat isn't up to par by the 7th my ass will be fried by the 9th.
this whole livejournal thing just isn't what it used to be anymore. people read, but never comment, so i dont update. it's lame. whatevs you all have a great couple of weeks, i'll know i'll be nothing short of enjoying myself.
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(4 voices | speak up)
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[08 May 2006|08:24pm] |
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mood |
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scared |
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Three Things
Three things that scare me:
1: dolls
2: being suffocated
3: failing
Three people who make me laugh:
1: heathy
2: hole
3: kristen
Three Things I love:
1: java
2: glass of scotch
3: and of course my dear friend baxter here
Three Things I hate:
1: talking during movies
2: snoring
3: inconsiderate people
Three things I don't understand:
1: boys
2: girls
3: how karma chooses
Three things on my desk:
1: solo cup with my name on it!
2: guinness pint glass
3: pictures of greg hole my dad and grem
Three things I'm doing right now:
1: sitting
2: smelling
3: procrastinating
Three things I want to do before I die:
1: marry an amazing man
2: have sweet ass kids
3: make my family proud in some way or another (god knows i've yet to do that)
Three things I can do:
1: care bout something
2: kick yo ass in scene it
3: have fun
Three ways to describe my personality:
1: gay
2: retarded
3: moody
Three things I can't do:
1: make that clam thing out of my tongue
2: whistle
3: do a kart-wheel
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(2 voices | speak up)
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| THE SLAYERRRRRRRR |
[04 May 2006|10:52am] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOLE!
So since i dont have a job i still haven't gotten my brother a present. i'm the master of presents and usually spend a buttload of money on him and put a lot of thought into it all as well, but i pretty basically suck at life. i guess i'll just make him a card ey? he's 18, thats weird. real weird. anyhoodles, shout outs to u bro, happy day of birth.
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(speak up)
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| do u like my bicycle's rainbow streamas |
[22 Apr 2006|01:54pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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matisyahu |
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It's redick how every other entry in here is either depressing as hell or perfectly fine. never in between. lately i've been the epitome of a loser and for some reason i'm almost okay with that. i haven't hung out with everyone in a while, and it's not because i'm not down with them, it's just because i have no desire to leave my house. hah like i said, loser. this stage should only last a few more weeks i think.
i did, however, get to see heathy and nick the past weekend and it was nothing short of the best time in a while. kristen, nagle, the millstone boys, and leeroy graced the rest of us with their presence and my stomach ached from laughing for the next few days. i miss nick and heathy so much when they're away, then when they come back it's like they never left. i cant wait til summer it's gonna be insane.
sweetness and his daisy dukes
we love eachother
joking and mack
anyway, i've been on my "plan skinny" diet for about a month now? i dunno, something like that... and it's making me so fucking angry. usually when i lose weight i just stop eating and work out like a maniac, but this time i'm trying to do it healthy and it's not working as fast. granted, i'm not a whale, i just wanna be in the best shape ever for my birthday/vacation/punta cana. so i have about 2 more months.. if it doesn't start to show by the middle of may, i'm never eating again :)
on a more serious note: i'm done with my brother. i'm done trying to spend time with him. i'm done worrying about him. and i'm done sticking up or covering for him when he fucks up.
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(1 voice | speak up)
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| the truth is a sad place to be |
[05 Apr 2006|10:47pm] |
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mood |
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 numb |
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i quit. i'm not a chaser and i've never been someone to try and convince someone else they should be with me. i've felt the same way consistently for months now and i'm getting tired of feeling like this. i'm tired of being not good enough. the hardest part is knowing that i had it. i had something that made me completely and utterly happy, comfortable, and safe. i never felt that with anyone else, and by the looks of it i wont for a long time. he knows how i feel, it's so difficult though to admit that he's over it. he's moved on and forgotten whatever it was that he felt in the first place. i've never been so honest about myself with anyone and being that vulnerable scares the shit out of me, and i'm done.
i'm not going anywhere but i'm not trying anymore. i cant. it's too depressing. i just dont understand how someone can get over "love" in the amount of time he did. i wish it was that easy. i wish i didn't think about it. i'm not doing what i usually do though... find a void to temporarily replace him. i'll just try and stay busy. i hear ur supposed to hang out with ur friends a lot to keep ur mind off of it, but i dont seem to have too many of those lately. my brother keeps me sane sometimes but being around him just reminds me more of who i'm trying to keep my mind off of. i'm not really sure what the hell this entry is for. more or less, it's for myself. sometimes it's nice to vent. it's been a while since i've even been able to find words for whats been going on in my head. make no mistake, i have most definitely learned that not everyone can forgive, not everyone's as soft as i am where they can get over things and pretend to forget them.
sometimes u hurt the people u love most b/c they'll never leave. but sometimes they do, and when that happens the only person u can blame is urself, and i'm beginning to come to terms with that. i'm beginning to come to terms with him not coming over anymore cuz of me. or never getting a phone call again. or not being important. i'm dealing.
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(6 voices | speak up)
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| just call me Harvey Dent |
[04 Mar 2006|10:32pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
] |
today was a complete waste of a day. we went to the mallio and that was way too exciting for me... photographed is laddie myself and heathy. (not pictured: the lurker)
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(speak up)
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[29 Jan 2006|08:50pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
on on my boob from surgery and my back from cancer shit
2. WHAT ARE ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
my life. my friends. some posters. it's like a college dorm room i'm told.
3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE?
it's a piece of shit. i cant see my screen and it's been like that since april
4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
anything pretty basically
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
no idea
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
i'm not really sure. there's too many things
7. WHO DO YOU MISS?
heather. fuck anyone else i dont see anymore.
8. WHAT is/are YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION/S?
i have nothing worth much
9. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
cancer
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
i'm afraid of being suffocated
11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
sometimes.
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
my brother
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
abercrombie ready
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
blue
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO?
i'm not getting married. i'm doomed.
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
coffe.
17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
meat lovers
18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
no appetite
19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
dunno
20. What do you think about the person who posted this?
chels... miss that girl
21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU?
no fuckin idea... how am i supposed to remember when i was like 10 minutes old
22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
N/A
23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
nah
24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
anything comfortable and still somewhat flattering
25. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM CAR?
3series
26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
jave, colby, and rugby
27. WHAT KIND IS IT?
dogs and cat
28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
u cant fucking choose
29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY FOR SOMEONE TO SHOW THAT THEY LIKE YOU?
i dont even know anymore... if u like someone, just act like it
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: 6
31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
duh
32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
heathy
33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
liars
34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA?
yeah
35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
challenges
36. Does your best friend know how much they mean to you?
i tell her every day
37. FIRST JOB?
this pony place
38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
i dont think so
39. Who is the first person you think of when you wake up?
depends
40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
not sure
41. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
i'm bored
42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
boobs
43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
still drink.
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
same thing as last year... but new theme
45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
2 or 3
46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
dont think so
47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
nah
48. WHAT DID YOU DO THIS MORNING?
ate a waffle then went back to sleep
49. WHAT DID YOU LAST EAT?
some pasta shit and a salad
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
dont know
51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
hickory smoked turkey
52. ANY BAD HABITS?
cigarettes
53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MUSIC ON YOUR MP3 PLAYER?
dunno. i dont give a shit.
54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
yeah
55. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
who hasn't. i tell heather everything
56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
yeah
57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
sleep it off, drink it off, or exercise like a maniac
58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
ash holes and chickens
59. WTF?
gay
60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
my back yard
61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
almost 300 i think
62. IF YOU COULD BE ANYWHERE RIGHT NOW WHERE WOULD YOU BE?
finuke's with heathy and moog
63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
in every sentence
64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
haha yeah
65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
nice body, gotta make me laugh, honest, his friends gotta be just as great, family, everything really.
66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
rae, raeferd, ford, taddler, nut, ra ra, hooker, slut, bitch, faggot, dicktoe, boog, loser... list goes on
67.Are you happy with your life?
not in the least
68.What is the most important thing to you?
family
70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
vanilla with wet walnuts
71. Water Or Wood's?
water
72. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLOR(S)?
red
73. WHO/WHAT DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
last year and heathy
74. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
no idea
75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
whatever
76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
nothing
77. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
orange juice gonna go get a beer after this though
78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
kristy
79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
the way they carry themselves
80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG?
oh god... there's too many
81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
dumb sluts
82. okayyy
?
83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN?
mine
84. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?
lacrosse, football, and wrestling
85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
albino porn star blonde
86. EYE COLOR?
hazel
87. HEIGHT?
5'4"
88. FAVORITE ANIMAL?
polar bear
89. FAVORITE MONTH(s)?
april, july, and sept.
90. YOU LIKE SUSHI?
depends
91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
i dont remember...
92. FAVORITE DAY(s) OF THE YEAR?
july 8th, last day of classes, christmas, thanksgiving
93. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
nah
94. SUMMER OR WINTER?
summer. cant stand the cold anymore
95. KISSES OR HUGS?
kisses
96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE-NIGHT STANDS?
one-night stands require no feelings... thats how it should be.
97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
bagel
98. WHO IS THE LEAST LIKELY TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
who cares
99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
started angels and demons
100. ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
says so
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(2 voices | speak up)
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[28 Jan 2006|03:39pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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i was born a ramblin man |
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so i dyed my hair... well michaela did and it's realllllly blonde, like porn star blonde. i'm gettin used to it and so is everyone else i suppose. i likey though.
note to self: please disregard any positive statements from last entry. hah people change their minds too much, including myself, so why think anyone's any different?
i wish i was away at a nice warm school with cute southern boys, cute southern girls, and the beach and lower living costs. screw TCNJ i'm thinkin i might go back to my plan A (goin to school in florida) or a plan C (go to NC somewhere). i'm a mess and i'm dealing i suppose. i miss heather too much for words, and i'm beginning to believe that there's no hope for me when it comes to the male race heh. whatev, a girl can deal right?
kristy called me last night tellin me she wants me to meet her friend... heh i dunno if i'm ready to go out on the prowl for a guy at this moment, but meeting new people is always a plus ey? we're goin to his beach house in seaside or something like that... should be a good time. any time spent with kris, wig, and ashley(i hope she comes) is nothing short from amazing. next weekend kris and i are gonna go visit heathy at YORK... that'll be a first for me... weird it took 2 years to visit my best friends school.
alright gotta gooo Jess is rushin me to get ready. peace faggots.
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(7 voices | speak up)
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| she said she's no good with words but i'm worse |
[12 Jan 2006|10:31pm] |
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mood |
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 optimistic |
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music |
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brighter side |
] |
so the trend recently is to lose your mind. i've lost it like 27 times in the past week and i think i might be on the verge of finding it... same for most of my friends who are losing theirs. it's like a bug that lasts a couple days. here are some pics. from last week when i went up of jake, hayes, and D
heathy and i drove up to montclair on monday and picked up courto at seton hall cuz croz said to come up since all the hockey boys were staying at the house for the week. sooo we go up there, stop at jake and D's first, then Mer's, then drive over to the house and they already left for the bar. apparently since i hadn't called the second i got up there crosby didn't think i came up at all so they left. we sat at the house for like 20 minutes then went back to jakes so he could get us beer. yeah, heather drank beer... we were desperate. so we get the beer, play quiet drinking games cuz the wrestlers were cranky as hell and then out of no where we're interrupted by some absolute ridiculousness which caused jake and i to get into a discussion which ended not as planned so after being on the verge of unnecessary fist throwing we left. i drove courto back to SHU and took a 40 minute detour in the wrong direction until the gas guy sent heathy and i the wrong way on a one way. so we stop at another gas station and got hit on by a man who eventually gave us the directions. so being drunk, tired, dry eyed, and driving at 5 in the am. made my night the absolute worst. and to boot! feeling absolutely horrible for dragging my favorites through the disaster with me. i love them though for not hating me.
so then tonight i finally got somewhere and i'm gonna try really hard to be understanding and patient cuz i have this feeling in my gut that it's worth it. being through all the bullshit we have been, i think i can handle waiting. i dont even like writing on here, but i have reason to believe that no one really reads this anymore so who cares.
these are just from a kohl's adventure that happened the same week as the other pictures. we're amazing.
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(4 voices | speak up)
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| come on love run with me |
[15 Nov 2005|11:01pm] |
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mood |
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pleased |
] |
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music |
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head automatica!!!! |
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okay so i've been slacking, to be honest, the whole LJ world is. i've been considerably happy the past couple days. i'm content with who i surround myself with and what i do with my time. i've been doin really well in school and i signed up for my spring semester already... i'm gonna be a mess. but it's worth it. so enough about me... more about the fun couple weeks i've had.
well nick had surgery so me and court stopped by last friday to check up on him and we bullshat and made plans for later in the week... court ditched us so we hung out, i almost passed out, so i went home. it was good seein him though, it's always good to see a familiar but missed face. so we had a funny photo session. baha he's gonna kill me for posting these pretty basically...
then we went to bubbas after the football game, and had a 92% amazing time! RAINNN DROPPP. kenny was the best ever and i peed my pants a little bit.i love bein around happy/drunk/silly people. after bub's me and court went to our friend Laura's then drank and smoked some more then i came home to the boy and went to bed early cuz i had work. it's the routine from hell... friday's our big party night and i have work every single fucking saturday at 845 in the am, it's horrible, but surprisingly, i manage. then saturday i dont remember much of what i did... i'm pretty sure... oh yeah. lyss and i spent the day bullshitting then she came over then greg came over then lyss left and then court came and then i left casey, sam, hole, and greg at my house lol and went to simons then came home to the sleep partner. only to be woken up by a plumber standing 5 feet away from our faces... yeah. so enough talking. i dont like it. i'm just gonna post pictures everyone's seen on Min's lj... but i have a few more.
thats when i peed my pants.
k bye. no lj-cut. i QUIT! goodnight. enjoy the week bitches.
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(4 voices | speak up)
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| these things are just so damn fun |
[07 Nov 2005|11:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 high |
] |
01. Last Cigarette: half an hour ago?
02. Last Kiss: 2 days ago
03. Last Cry: it was a happy cry... the other day
05. Last Movie Seen In a Theater: jarhead
06. Last Book Read: da vinci code
07. Last Cuss Word Uttered: probably fuck
08. Last Beverage Drank: milk with mrs depintos cookies
09. Last Food Consumed: hah see above
11. Last TV Show Watched: monday night football
12. Last Time Showered: 3:45
13. Last Shoes Worn: clogs
14. Last CD played: courts blind melon
15. Last Soda Drank: dont remember... i dont drink soda much
16. Last Thing Written: notes from class
17. Last Words Spoken: goodnight faggot
18. Last Annoyance: not sure... having to drive?
19. Last Person You Shared A Drink Or Food With: Nick
21. Last Web Site Visited: myspace
22. Last time you had sex? i dunno.
B O D Y:
01. Piercings: ears... belly button fell out
02. Tattoos: foot
03. Height: 5'4"
04. Shoe size: 7.5
05. Hair color: Brownish
06. Siblings: hole and kris
1. D O * Y O U
01. You have a crush on someone: haha john smith
02. You wish you could live somewhere else: sometimes
03. You think about suicide: not often
04. You believe in online dating: hahah gay
05. Others find you attractive: i suppose every now and then
06. You want more piercings: yeah... requires time though
07. You drink: on occasion
08. You do drugs: nah
09. You smoke: i haven't for 3 days... but i'm weak and caved
10. You like cleaning: sometimes
11. You like roller coasters: yeah, i'd say so
12. You write in cursive or print: prursive
F O R *O R *A G A I N S T...
01. Long distance relationships: rather not... but if need be
02. Teenage smoking: wish i didn't most of the time
04. Driving drunk: happens
05. Soap operas: used to watch them with my mom when i was 3... haven't since.
H A V E*Y O U . . .
01. Ever cried over a guy/girl: who hasn't
02. Ever lied to someone: dont like to
04. Ever been in a fistfight: wouldn't even call it that
05. Ever been arrested: no sir
R A N D O M...
01. Shampoo do you use: right now it's brilliant brunette and head and shoulders
02. Shoes do you wear: whatever's under my desk
N U M B E R . . .
01. Of times you have been in love? haven't gone there yet
02. Of hearts you have broken? none that are still damaged
03. Of drugs taken illegally? uno
04. Of people you consider your enemies? one
6. 05. Of scars on your body? prolly like 14
06. Of things in your past that you regret? regrets a waste
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rataddler's journal
crazy
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